Food makes me do crazy things

So, I'm incredibly food motivated. My emotions can generally be judged by where I am on the feed cycle. As in, just ate = code level GREEN! You're dealing with a happy, cheery E. Whereas, hungry/hangry = code level ORANGE to RED aka Godzirra (depending upon how much time has gone by since my last meal) proceed with extreme caution. I have been known to give bad advice, get overly cranky and generally be less than ideal to be in contact with if I'm in between meal times. I mean, they don't call me Godzirra for nothing (picture a large dinosaur pushing aside skyscrapers and trees and eating large handfuls of fries or tater tots with ketchup and you'd be somewhat in the realm of what I'm like when I need to be fed). Anyway, I say this for two reasons:

1) I once went on a first date post-workout  and only had a banana in my system (Godzirra cannot subsist on a banana alone). Things were going well, lots of smiles, furtive glances etc. We'd passed multiple restaurants while walking around and I didn't seem interested in food and then, all of a sudden, from the depths of the nether world, I bellowed, "I NEED TO EAT NOW!" I have never seen a man so terrified of those words in my entire life. His eyes almost BULGED out of their sockets---he was 6'4", I'm 5'4", but apparently, I'm intimidating when I'm hungry?

2) A couple of months ago, I was in California for a good friend's wedding and stayed at my other good friend's parents house. Her parents have a dog a really sweet one that could just not warm up to me, for whatever reason and in order to ease the tension between us, my friend's mom started feeding her whenever she was nice to me. You know, to associate me with good things like, yummy treats. I mean, I can dig it. Well, I swear, that dog turned her behavior around quite quickly and the mom said, "Oh, I love her. She's so food motivated." And I thought, "Wow. This dog and I sure have a lot in common."

So, the food thing is real and in full effect. On any given day, I send at least 4 friends (via gchat, of course) pictures of some delectable dessert or meal or snack or talk incessantly about eating. All of this is to say that I can be easily coerced into doing something that I wouldn't normally do if the request is accompanied by a juicy sandwich, french fry, cupcake, any sort of food type thing. I mean, I think you get the point. We're not talking anything sexual or unsavory here, just normal, run-of-the-mill I'll help you clean your room type things OR go to dinner with people that I normally wouldn't even consider making a Starbucks run with.

Le sigh.

Persons spared food photos by posting this: 5
Today's food inspiration comes from: ( I have spared you the .gif of the delectable runny egg--don't say I never gave you anything. Though, it really is cool and makes your mouth water, so you should really check it out....)


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